Wednesday, February 06, 2008

some thoughts

Many prayers go out tonight for one of my friends, and especially for her father who is fighting cancer. I wish I could be near her in person to just hug her. Please pray for them with me.

Along the same lines ... I randomly visited Beth Moore's blog and read responses to some tough questions she was asking as research for a project she's working on ... so many hurting people ... so many things happening ... to all of us, at different times. I could identify with some of them at different times in my life via struggles I have met and overcome and other issues I am still wading through. Typical of my personality, I wanted to make a list of all of them and sort them by 1. issues I deal with rarely 2. issues I deal with every so often 3. issues I deal with daily. I wanted to make myself aware of them, that they exist or have existed, and then begin trying to purposefully work on some of them beginning with releasing any fear or self doubt and finding strength in Christ to help me deal with these things. just a thought.

And on what seems like the other side of the world ... here's a story in my children's very young life that I want to remember later on ... sometimes when Charley is thinking about doing or has done something mischievous, but funny, like finding a creative way to disobey that doesn't really break the rules, but that he knows is still wrong ... I'll be smiling at him while putting him in time out or telling him to stop, and he'll look at me with a smile and say, "Mommy do you love me?" and I always say, "Yes, Charley, I love you so much." It's like a script every time. Then he runs over and gives me a big hug and a kiss. aaaahhh and he only asks this when he's doing something wrong. Sometimes his questions is also followed by, "even though I'm being a bad boy?" I love that he is establishing the understanding now for the kind of unconditional love I have for him, and am trying to explain that God has for him. My answer to him when discussing why God still loves him is along the lines of "because He made you and you're special to Him." Other times it gets into Jesus dying for his sins. I wish I could get inside of his head to know what he thinks or understands about this concept, but I can't and have no idea since I know he can't understand yet. However, he loves the Easter story and I know that it will click someday.

Oh that we would always accept that we are loved by God unconditionally, even when we aren't able to love each other that way at all times ... even when we feel ugly, stupid, sinful, failing and so many other things that would keep us far from God. But in truth, we're white as snow as children of God. God's children are innocent in His eyes because of Jesus' sacrifice for us. Praise be to a God that would lovingly pay our way and long for us to be near Him.

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